Dear diary

Dear diary some days I’m okay and can laugh and go on throughout my days without a tear or pangs in my stomach and begging God to please take the heartache away.

When you spend so much time with a person loving them the only way you know how with no previous experience just going off your heart no matter how bad you want to love someone else you have to shut out the other person.

So God can bless you with the one he designed for you. What I felt with this man was so natural and unforgettable its so unbearable but I know the man my heart and soul is suppose to connect with better times and memories are ahead…….I’m letting go so I can love him

Dancing in the dark

couple

Met you in the night, too late, but you waited.
Waited for what you might need.
I came. I thought, felt and contacted.
Looked at you for the first time and felt you inside
Did not know who you were or who I was.
But I gave myself up to the night’s magic
The thoughts disappeared in frosty night.
Fear and reservations slipped away like spirit,
Warm mist in the winter night.
You and Me.
I danced with you even when the music stopped
You came with and our bodies became one,
In moments of infinity which lasted so short
Time stood still and it was late.
As melting snow on the hottest summer
You disappeared and was gone.
I woke up and froze.

A NEW DAY

New day

I just wish a better day for me
I wish it will be so bright
And that I’ll wake up saying
How much I love myself

I wish good things for me
Because my life is just getting worse

I wish I could end with this nightmare
I lost my hope, my faith, and everything to keep trying

I really want a new day
Where the only thing I can say is
How glad I am, because I feel like if I was born again

Sometimes I ask myself
If everyone feels my pain
How hurt I am and how hard my life is

Maybe my words are not good enough to support
But at least I can describe the way I see my life

Right now that I just see the darkness,
And I feel the sadness
I can feel the pain of my friends

When they tell me why they are hurt
I just close my eyes and I start to imagine I am in their shoes

It will never have a simple meaning
A simple world to describe how it is
But the only thing I am sure is that
It is really complicated